So Roy got married…at a FUCKING CASTLE.
LFM 1 Poor Bastard Who No Longer Wants Any Freedom, PST!
Rofl but srsly guys, it was super fun. AND I got to re-enact my favorite WoW raids:
Onyxia's Lair!
Karazhan!
Touching Girls! (Also, MC was there!)
And of course…
Type II 'adult onset' Diabetes!
THIS FUCKING CAKE. Cheesus Crust, it was so Gouda-damned sweet IT MADE MY TEETH HURT. And I’m well known for chewing sugar packets straight up and putting sugar on my ice cream! (It makes it look like fresh snow glistening in a crisp winter noonday sun…in someone’s mouth.)
…I ate five pieces.
Gz to Roy and Missy!!!!
The Case of Missy and Roy and Why They Didn't Hire Tyler As Their Wedding's Official Photographer
KIDS: This is how Swine Flu is spread! (Also, Eric was there!)
"I want to leave real early" "So do I!" "Welp, I better too!" (aka Reckinger, Cara, and Spencer)
Roy and Missy’s wedding is where I discovered my love of Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA”. I’m not kidding. I say, ‘my tummy’s turnin’ and I’m feelin’ kinda homesick’, every fifth sentence now (1). Although, upon 350th listen, how many ‘Nashville parties’ are bopping to Jay-Z, Miley. OR SHOULD I SAY HANNAH?! Dummy.
The wedding was in Charlevoix and later my tummy’s turnin’ and I’m feeling kinda homesick, so I decided to creep some Facebook. I noticed I was largely drawn to click the names I found in ‘All friends(1337)’ that had a mysterious horizontal line attaching the last name I recognized to some other unfortunate jumble of letters. (Also, any girls I had MAJOR crushes on.)
I later discovered this ‘hypheen‘, as it’s been known by since the Gutenberg/Merriam Conclave of Ought O’Sixty+thirds, denotes the wondrous union of two souls in marriage, the latter name usually belonging to whomsoever forged the blood pact with Satan to ensure the continued blissful longevity of said union. (I kid! There’s no such thing as ‘blissful longevity of said union’! All hail Satan, Lord Master-of-Lies, Majority Partner Forger-of-Illusory-Binding-Contracts!)
So everyone’s married now? I guess I didn’t get the memo! But then I wondered, ‘how do I know what males I went to elementary/middle/high school with (and had MAJOR crushes on!) have gotten Hitch‘d, other than being invited to their weddings to wreck it up by requesting “Party in the USA”?’ Answer: UNCERTAIN.
If you, or any of your loved ones, have any information on how to solve this mystery, please call (989) 895-2300…you need not give your name.
