So Friday night we were headed from The Rock Upon Midland to the Midland Street Pub when this happened:
That is an allegedly 'real' boombox.
Followed shortly by this:
That blond girl right behind me may be the one who GRABBED MY COCK LIKE CRAZY.
(Pictures courtesy of Sarah!)
The only tape these kids had was MC Hammer’s Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em. And of course the only cut anyone knew off that album was “U Can’t Touch This”. So, after the brief pause to be kind, rewind, that’s what got played on repeat for about an hour. It attracted a slew of drunks, rubberneckers, and drunks rull quick, including this one dude who turned out to be a Street Magician. Why do I think this? First he joined the dance party by tripping over NOTHING AT ALL, sprawling out right in the middles of everyone. For his next trick, he conjured up THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN TWENTIES out of his ordinary jeans’ pockets. It was like when regular magicians endless streams of colored hankies from their sleeves or stomach. Or ass. Except it was TWENTIES.
Third part was when he threatened to commit every single one of the dozens of people present to memory, force them back to Midland St. at his leisure and then MURDER THEM ALL if he didn’t have ‘all of his ten thousand dollars’ when he got back home. TA-DA!
As quickly as the HammerFans appeared, they vanished into the night. I assume they were time-travelling pranksters, bored in the warless, strifeless, perfekt Utopia of The Future, come back on a Friday night to fuck with some rubes from the past i.e. Me. Fuck you time-travelling HammerFans. Fuck you in your holo-replica boombox.
The owner of Brooklyn Boys, was not thrilled about what was happening right outside the door of his pizzeria. I think he’s also a city councilman or something so be prepared for the quickest ordinance against time-travelling street dance parties EVAR.
And I implore you to watch TF’s video, Enter the Snake.
