Not even the fruit aisles in Chicago are safe from gang activity:
Stephanie: I bet they're getting ready to fight the Blood Oranges
So I went to ChiTown over the weekend to visit Step.
I tried to use Canadian coins so many times to pay tolls or give to hipsters (read: BUMS), but it turns out that doesn’t fly in anywhere but Michigan. I’m pretty certain some Canadian places won’t even take fucking Canadian confetti money. “Let’s let that shitty hand state with no economy use this stuff, because it’s fucking Monopoly money, eh?” “BRILLIANT!
As you know I have recently been obsessed with Hell’s Kitchen, so Sunday we were going to go out to an upscale food eatery.
Because I do not own a jacket, we were forced to instead hit the local Jewel-Osco (or as I will now refer to it, Chicago Meijer) to fuck snooty ChiTown and cook up our own delicious foodstuffs.
The base components of fine dining add up fast! We spent like 60 bucks on like fucking clumps of vegetables! DEATH BLOOMS.
First course: some weird weird things called Chease? I later found out that this is basically spoiled animal milk mixed with bacterium! How is this a legal foodstuffs?! WHAT THE FUCK>!
Protip: Don't eat the red bullshit!
I then fired up a pan and seared some fresh sea scallops in it. We had to go to Tyler’s Bane to pick up those lil babies. We also cooked up some Leaf of the Gods to top it off.
Like 20 dollars for eight scallops, sirs.
Steph then fired up a most perfectly cooked asparagus risotto.
You win this round vegetables...
Finished off with a filet mignon, with my extra secret seasoning. I’ll give you one hint: it’s probably butter.
Protip: don't eat five people worth of food before the meat course
I don't know what I am doing...I think that's raisin bran in there.
(That's cooking wine. We just chugged it.)
